Overview
One of the most fascinating aspects of being a psychotherapist is witnessing how frequently we are our own worst enemies. Many of the challenges we face stem from self-sabotage, which necessitates a struggle against our own instincts. Whether it’s losing weight, getting out of debt, finding fulfilling work, or nurturing long-term relationships, all these goals require delaying immediate gratification for the sake of future benefits.
Why It Matters
Delaying gratification has served humanity well throughout history. Yet, it’s fair to question why so much of contemporary life feels like an uphill battle. Why do our instincts often lead us astray?
A key concept in evolutionary psychology is “evolutionary mismatch”—the idea that our evolution occurred in a very different environment than the one we navigate today. Our brains, bodies, and instincts struggle to adapt to the modern world.
How significant is this mismatch? While humans are remarkably adaptable, our genetics have remained largely unchanged for around 100,000 years. Most of human history involved small, nomadic tribes, with agriculture emerging only about 10,000 years ago. Given this context, the environments we now find ourselves in are vastly different from those we were designed for.
Impact of Evolutionary Mismatch
One of the most visible impacts of this mismatch is on our health. Our natural instincts to consume foods high in salt, sugar, and fat were crucial for survival in the past. However, today, cheap calories and “hyperpalatable” foods make it hard to manage our appetites. This has led to rising obesity rates, which now overshadow malnutrition as a major public health concern.
The landscape of dating has also transformed dramatically. The instinct to find a compatible partner was essential in small tribes, where options were limited. Now, technology connects us to a virtually limitless pool of potential mates, often resulting in choice paralysis and a new host of relationship challenges like ghosting and anxiety over missed opportunities.
Increasing rates of depression and mental health issues can also be viewed through the lens of evolutionary mismatch. Traditional hunter-gatherer living involved constant companionship and immediate rewards from work. Modern technology has made these connections optional, leading many to feel isolated and devoid of purpose. In this sense, feeling low is not a sign of a faulty brain but rather a signal that we may be missing out on essential aspects of life.
In response to these gaps, some individuals turn to technology. Just as hyperpalatable foods fulfill our primal cravings, AI tools like ChatGPT and Replika often cater to our deep-seated needs for connection and meaning. Interestingly, AI companies are surprised by how emotionally attached users become to these products, leading to concerns about potential negative impacts on vulnerable individuals.
Understanding Our Challenges
This doesn’t imply we should revert to the past—hunter-gatherer life was not a utopia. However, recognizing the significant chasm between our biological evolution and modern societal structures provides a clearer lens through which to view our struggles. When we hold ourselves to unrealistic expectations, we open the door to self-criticism and resentment regarding issues like weight, job satisfaction, and loneliness.
Conversely, understanding the context of our evolved nature allows for greater self-compassion and informed decision-making. Rather than chastising ourselves for lacking control, we can recognize our impulses as part of this mismatch and explore practical solutions—simple actions like keeping unhealthy foods out of the house or limiting screen time.
More complex solutions involve adopting a broader perspective. Building community and incorporating meaningful rituals into our lives remain vital, despite technological advancements. Finding ways to integrate these elements into our everyday existence can lead to profound changes—not because we are flawed, but because we face unique challenges in an ever-changing world.
Dr. Alex Curmi is a psychiatrist, psychotherapist in training, and presenter of The Thinking Mind podcast.
Further Reading
The Social Brain: The Psychology of Successful Groups by Tracey Camilleri, Samantha Rockey, and Robin Dunbar (Penguin, £10.99)
The Evolution of Desire: Strategies of Human Mating by David M. Buss (Basic, £16.99)
Behave: The Biology of Humans at Our Best and Worst by Robert Sapolsky (Vintage, £12.99)
Final Thoughts
Understanding the impact of evolutionary mismatch on our lives provides a pathway to greater self-awareness and compassion. By recognizing the unique challenges posed by modern society, we can navigate our instincts and choices more effectively, making informed decisions that lead to a more fulfilling existence.
